whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
