I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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