Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
