went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
