we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
