how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
