i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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