FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize