i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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