so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize