then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
