How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
