Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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