Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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