Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
