I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
