When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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