i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize