You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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