just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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