okay pat passed out under dana's car
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
