nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
