You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
