I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
