Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Randomize
