I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
