You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
