Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
