k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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