How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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