I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize