i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
