I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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