Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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