His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Two words: blizzard sex
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
