I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
