remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
OPIZZABONMYDICK
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
