She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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