You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
