you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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