I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
