Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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