some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
