You can't motorboat a personality
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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