I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
