I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We just shotgunned beers for America
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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