i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize