it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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