Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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