I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
