Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
