I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
