i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
