all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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