he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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