how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
