There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
