I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Drake has all the answers
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
