Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
