1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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