As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
