If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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