just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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