everyone is single if you try hard enough
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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