i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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