SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
