I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
