I just cut my nipple shaving
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
