I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
