Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
