the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize